Monday, July 14, 2008

Top Ten Reasons I Don't Date Republicans

I know I should be talking about progressive issues that were discussed at the Campus Progress Conference but surely one of the highlights was hearing Linda Sanchez speak. She recounted a story in which two men in business suits in the elevator of a House office building politely asked which office she worked in. "Oh, I have my own office here," she replied.

She also left us with these words of wisdom:
Top Ten Reasons I Don't Date Republicans
by Linda Sanchez

10. The only time they believe in fiscal restraint is when the dinner bill comes.
9. His idea of getting to second base is fondling my stock portfolio.
8. He thinks that Emily's List is a call girl service.
7. His idea of oral stimulation is getting me to recite the Contract with America.
6. He thinks that white pantyhose and pearls are sexy--and you should see what he wants me to wear.
5. Because when Republicans say that they want to create opportunities for minorities, that means they want to date me and Loretta [Linda's sister. Also a congresswoman].
4. Despite all the hype, I still can't find his weapon of mass destruction.
3. His pending prison term for political corruption is just another excuse for him to be emotionally unavailable.
2. Republicans are only interested in screwing the poor.
1. Because they make love like they make war: they lie to get in and don't have a plan for what to do once they get there