Monday, August 8, 2011

You might not believe it but I did learn how to do a complete physical exam

There's an order to conducting a physical exam. I took a class on it and passed the exam, which consisted of doing a physical exam on a classmate including memorizing the steps and performing them in the correct order.

You wouldn't know this if you had seem me at the weekend clinic where I volunteer.

What goes on in my head:
Me to patient: I'm going to conduct a physical exam on you.
OMFG WHAT'S FIRST??? OHHH I SEE EYES. OHH I SEE AN OPHTHALMOSCOPE AND OTOSCOPE ON THE WALL. WAIT. IS IT EYES FIRST OR NOSE FIRST??
Me: I'm going to look into your eyes now.
AHHH I CAN'T CLOSE MY RIGHT EYE WHILE KEEPING MY LEFT EYE OPEN...
OH SHIT. WHAT'S NEXT AFTER EYES AND EARS???

This went on until I went through the motions of enough components of the physical exam in no particular order until I thought maybe  the patient was fooled into thinking I gathered any useful information. (I didn't.)
  
When I left the exam room to report to the attending physician, I realized that I forgot to palpate lymph nodes. Oops.

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